Change can be so constant, you don't even feel the difference until there is one

Wow I have been extraordinarily bad about keeping up to date on this.  I am half way through my Christmas break right now (which has me back in California!), and I'm visiting family and friends like a mad girl- I would love to spend some time with you.  If you are available before January 2nd, call me, email me, whatever!  I have some thoughts about this first trimester that I hope to post soon, but for now, please enjoy this.

I am unable to give gifts of the consumer fashion this year.  It has been awesome to have to think outside the box on that one!  As my mass gift to those of you that check this, I would love to steal an idea from my roommate Lisi.  Below you will find a list of all the books I finished this trimester, and a list of many of the CDs that have provided inspiration to my heart.  I hope you have a chance to check some of these out, and that you love them half as much as I do!

Books:
~ Kingdom Works by Bart Campolo
~ The Red Tent by Anita Diamant*
~ The Magician's Nephew & The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe (Books 1&2 in the Chronicles of Narnia) by C.S. Lewis*
~ Theirs is the Kingdom by Bob Lupton
~ The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning*
~ Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller*
~ Out of Solitude by Henri Nouwen
~ Beyond Charity by John Perkins
~ Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers*
~ Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria by Beverly Daniel Tatum
~ He's Just Not That Into You by Liz Tuccillo & Greg Behrendt
~ Under the Overpass by Mike Yankoski

* denotes a re-read

Music (if there is an album title, it comes after the artist):
~ Buena Vista Social Club Soundtrack
~ Erin's "Country in the Barrio" mix- don't judge... it's not entirely what you think...
~ Handel's Messiah
~ Jars of Clay- self titled
~ Justin Mc Roberts- Untitled EP
~ Moriah- This Mystery
~ Nickel Creek- This Side
~ Over the Rhine- Drunkard's Prayer
~ Ginny Owens- Without Condition
~ Rent Soundtrack
~ Damien Rice- O
~ Shane & Shane- various
~ Switchfoot- various
~ The Format- Interventions & Lulabies
~ Chris Tomlin- Arriving

Currently Watching Home Alone see related

Well, it has continued to be an amazing week!

Almost immediately after my last post, I taught my second GED class.  I am teaching Math 1, which is all the basics from adding and subracting to fractions.  It is a very humbling experience, and has made me even more appreciative of the amazing education I received.  But, here's the cool thing.  We were going over the processes involved in long division, and I asked one girl to go to the board to demonstrate the problem. She correctly solved it, then I asked her to explain her steps to the class.  She conceeded after little resistance.  In the process of her explaination, the director of the center walks in.  He looks at her, then me, then her again, and was shocked that she took that step out to stand in front of the class to explain a problem.  It was one of those small victories you would almost miss if you weren't paying attention.  It was so great to see her start to become more confident in her abilities!

My roommate Erin works in a Kindergarten class at the school up the street.  She was an elementary ed major, and will most likely get a job teaching next year.  The teacher that she works with is an amazing lady who has adopted our house.  It has been such a blessing to us.  Laura is probably pushing 50, but is not married and has never had kids of her own (besides her students!).  She came over to our house last week for dinner (and a knitting lesson), and shared with us history of the Chicago area.  This past Tuesday she took all of us to dinner at an Italian restaurant up the street from our house.  It was amazing because this was a treat we never would have been able to afford on our stipend (which only allots $2.42 per person per day for food).  And at some point during the conversation, she looked at us and asked where we wanted to go next month.  She also asked if we wanted to join her and her mother to go see Handel's Messiah before dinner next month.  I think we all had to pick our jaws up off the floor after that one.  After we walked Laura back to her car, we walked home like giddy little school girls.  I know we came to the city to serve other people, but I have been blessed beyond belief by some of the people I have encountered.  Laura's heart for us has been so amazing, and makes me want to love the people I am around all the more because of her example.

Finally, the school that I work at is called Rudy Lozano Leadership Academy, and it was named after a man named Rudy Lozano (duh!) who was a big social rights activist in this neighborhood in the 60s and 70s.  His son, Rudy Lozano Jr., is the social justice teacher at this school.  And I had been commenting to my roommate that works here too that I was really looking forward to an opportunity to get to know him because I felt that he would have an amazing perspective on things.  Well, yesterday I got that opporunity.  It was "report card day", which is kind of like parent/teacher conferences.  Parents came by to pick up report cards and all the teachers sat around in the cafeteria in case parents wanted to talk about their child's report card.  Mid-way through our first session, Rudy comes over and sits down with me and the Principal Christine.  He and I begin talking, and it was amazing!  We probably spent two hours talking about the history of the neighborhood (and the stuff about his dad), teaching philosophies, social justice issues, and more.  Without going into all the details, I just have to leave it as one of the most interesting conversations I have had since I've been here.

Now the weekend is here, and we have a lot to do because we are going to the CCDA (Christian Community Development Association) conference in Indianapolis next week.  I will be gone from Wednesday through Saturday, but should hopefully learn a lot and have some great stories after that.

Today I was incredibly inspired by one of my guy students.  I have known all along that he has a great heart, but for some reason (unbeknownst to me) we got off on a little bit of a wrong foot.  So everyday, he and a buddy took joy in trying to making my life just a little more difficult in the classroom.  I knew it was mostly in jest, and was not bothered by their immature behavior, but all along have been praying for a real friendship to develop with this guy. 

He has math after lunch, and today I just happened to walk in a little early.  He was sitting there writing, so I asked him what was up.  He said he had been writing poetry, and then proceeded to ask if I wanted to read something he wrote.  He handed me two pages from his notebook, and I began to read.  I was so moved by his words and his honesty that I almost started to cry.  I handed the papers back, and thanked him for sharing his heart with me. 

He went on to apologize for the way they had been treating me during class, and wanted to be sure that I knew it was entirely in jest and not intended in any way to hurt my feelings.  I told him I knew that, and we began talking.  He showed me pictures of his daughter, and we talked about some of the struggles involved in being a teen parent.  Unfortunately, this moment was cut short by the 4th period bell.  But as the other students started streaming into the classroom that day, I knew things were going to be different.

Last week at the Aspire center, a gentleman came to speak to the students.  He also shared a poem which I would like to share with you all now.

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowances for their doubting too
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise

If you can dream- and not make dreams your master
If you can think- and not make thoughts your aim
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken
And stoop and build 'em up with worn out tools

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them, "Hold On"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue
Or walk with kings- nor lose the common touch
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you
If all men count with you, but none too much
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it
And- which is more- you'll be a man my son!

~Rudyard Kipling

Many of you have already seen this most recent newsletter, but in case you haven't here is a bit about what's happened here in October.  I hope you enjoy hearing about all of what God's been doing out here.  I know I certainly enjoy hearing bits and pieces of what He's doing with each of you back home.  Lots of love to each of you!

The Chicago Chronicles- October 2005

Well, October has certainly been different than September.  The novelty found in the 2-hour trips to the Laundromat, the mile walk (pulling a cart) to get groceries, and many other things from the first month is beginning to wear off.  But at the same time, I can navigate public transportation to just about anywhere in the city, I know where my closest thrift store is, and I know where I go to find a relaxing atmosphere with a cheap yet great cup of coffee. These are the things that make a city feel like home to me, and I am happy to be inching closer to that place.  Plus, the Sox are in the World Series (by the time many of you get this, they may have already won)!  There is nothing like some baseball fun to make a city come alive. 

I would have to say that the most significant change since the last time I wrote is that we have been in our community service sites for awhile now.  I am primarily working at a school called Rudy Lozano Leadership Academy (RLLA) and at a place called the Aspire center.

RLLA is an alternative charter school for students age 16-21 who have dropped out or been kicked out of school.  It offers small class sizes and individualized learning plans, and in so doing offers many students a last chance at a high school diploma.  I am primarily working in a math class offering extra support to the teacher, and working with the students who are further behind.  It has been good for me to brush up on some of these basic skills, and it has taught me to take nothing for granted.  Just the other day I taught a student how to do long division, and it was interesting to have to think through a simple explanation of exactly why each step works.

The Aspire center is a small part of the Metro Chicago Youth for Christ.  But rather than traditional YFC programs, it serves as an educational resource offering classes to help prepare 16-21 year olds to get their GED.  Many of the women there are teen mothers who don’t have either the time or the ability to go to school during the day, while many of the men come directly from Cook County Juvenile Detention Center, just up the street.  I am working mostly as a classroom tutor there, helping with whatever subject is being taught that day.  I also do some one-to-one math tutoring, and next week starts a new session in which I am going to be teaching a Math I class.

This month has also been significant because we have gotten more involved in the ministries at our church.  Now I know this will probably not surprise many of you, but the two ways I am serving there are with their youth group and their music team.  It is amazing to get back to one of my true loves, and to have the opportunity to just be goofy and love on a new group of middle school and high school students.  I am sure I will have some “cute kid” stories to share as the year progresses! And as for music . . . I had desired to play with an organized group again, but had no idea it would turn out like this.  It has been at least 6 years since I have had occasion to think in terms of Afro-Cuban rhythms, but at our predominantly Hispanic church, it’s everywhere.  I am thinking in terms of clave again, and learning new Conga patterns.  It has been amazing!

On a sad note, we said goodbye to Gina this month.  She came face to face with a tough decision, and in the end did what she felt had to be done.  However, Mission Year also did what they felt needed to be done.  Unfortunately, that combination resulted in her dismissal from the program.  We are all going to miss her, and have been blown away at the profound impact she had on our house after only three weeks.  At the same time, all parties involved (Mission Year, Gina, and us roommates) have all arrived at a place of peace with the decision and are still excited about the future of our team. 

One final thing about this month is that we had our neighbor Sono and his family over for dinner.  He is a single father with four elementary school kids.  Inviting people over is something we do on a regular basis, but it was great to have a family over that actually lives on our block rather than someone we have befriended through work or church.  It was wonderful to have some time with the kids, and to learn about the history of the neighborhood from someone who has been there for almost a quarter century.  Also it is stereotypically thought (at least it was by us), that single parent families are often kids with single moms.  However, on our block there are several families, like Sono’s, where the single fathers are raising kids.  As a house, we have thought this to be very interesting that one of the all female teams is placed on a block where the female influence, in many ways, is lacking.  We have already had girls curl up in our laps to read stories and been attacked by hugs as we walk out the door.  I am very excited to see how these relationships develop and what this year will bring in our continued interactions with our neighbors.

Thank you to those of you who have already partnered financially in the work that is going on out here.  Remember, our house goal is to raise $12,000 per person to cover the cost of living, eating, transportation, and training during this year.  If you feel called to give, please use the enclosed envelope do so.  Send your tax-deductible contributions, made payable to Mission Year, to 2520 S. Western Ave., #304, Chicago, IL, 60608.  Please make sure to designate your funds towards my support by putting my account fund ID# (05-0025) on the memo line of the check.  Mission Year will send a receipt for each gift given.  Please do not write my name anywhere on the check, as this may negate the tax deductibility of your donation.

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Finally I wanted to include my contact information, in case you don’t already have it.  Please copy it down and use it regularly to write to me or just check up on what’s going on out here.

Anna Fellers

Currently Reading "Why Are All The Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?": A Psychologist Explains the Development of Racial Identity By Beverly Daniel Tatum see related